One thing that has become painfully obvious to me is that unless I can drop another minute per mile off my pace there will be no Boston qualification at the Cleveland Marathon.
Doubt has been clinging to my shoulder every run. Can I do it? Is this all for naught? Have I been too ambitious? Is this too soon?
Doubt can eat you up.
I’ve always thought of training as “teasing the dragon from the cave”.
As if in a real-life video game, dragons lurk along the path to achieving a goal. Some you know are there…sore muscles, tiredness…but some are unexpected.
Each dragon hides in its cave until you venture by. Then, roaring and belching fire and smoke, it makes it’s presence known. At first it stays hidden from sight, issuing its challenge from the darkest recesses of its cave. You know it’s there, but you really don’t know how big it is, or if it will actually come out and make a fight of it.
Approaching the mouth of the cave teases the dragon out, causes him to expose himself, and you get a better idea of what you are up against. Just how serious is this monster? Can it be overcome? Sometimes an avoidance maneuver is called for-this is a particularly nasty dragon who has never seen defeat in battle. Passing the mouth of his cave with caution and a liberal application of good sense is the only way to continue down the training path.
Sometimes the dragon is big…..and scary……..and loud…………and persistent.
This dragon leaves you weak in the knees and wondering why you ever chose this particular path to travel. After all, it would be much more comfortable nestled into your favorite easy chair, warm and snug. Who needs this?
Then you remember why you are on this path. You have a goal. Something really important you want to achieve. And this damn dragon is doing his best to keep you from it.
You are going to have to do battle with this beast.
So you fight. Using every weapon at your disposal. This isn’t a fair fight, it’s a fight to the death. Either to the death of the dragon, or the death of your goal.
I’m doing battle with Doubt. I’ve seen how big and powerful he is. He pours out his wrath before and during every run. The last couple weeks, he’s had the upper hand.
Yesterday we battled again. I won. After four miles of hills I ran the last mile of a five miler at a minute under the pace I must run in Cleveland to qualify.
A small victory, but a victory for now, none the less. He’ll be back.
Go ahead Doubt, make my day.
Ah, Doubt and I are old acquaintances. And he is everything you say. But he has weaknesses. He’s very gullible, to tell the truth. He’ll believe you when you tell him you don’t care and you’re doing this anyway. Keep your sword sharp!!
yes…as long as he doesn’t see your knees knocking, you can face him down.
You can do it!!!
Excellent, excellent post. I went through similar experiences when training for my first half marathon and for a while, the damn dragon was smiling and the fat lady was tuning up for her final song. I hated it but eventually turned things around. It’s not easy, but nothing good ever is. I have faith in you. Slay the dragon – I’ve got your back. I’m here if you need me…
Thanks Debbi…I appreciate that…
Bless you, G-Dog! And I am so cheering you on! This is a wonderful post, inspiring, and exactly what I needed to read today.
Yup. I experience doubt every time I go out there. Will I ever run a half? Will I ever be fast.