The “Tour de Holmes”, Mountain Leg

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!

I checked out the bike route for the Holmes County Triathlon yesterday….

There isn’t a big or bold enough typeface here to emphasize how horrendous that route is!

It’s the kind of route that left me with a vision of a gnarly old woman hunched over the “Map my route” display on a glowing computer screen, wringing her hands and laughing “I’ll get YOU my pretty!”

This route is just shy of 13 miles long…easy, peasy you’re thinking…what’s the problem Gramma?

The “hill” starts around 2 miles.

(I forgot to take my Garmin so I could actually get an elevation of the route…but I will next time. Take the Garmin, that is.  Probably just as well.   The hair on the back of my neck still prickles every time I think about it right now.)

The hill never ends until about two miles from the finish!  

O, yeah…the occasional 30 or 40 feet of level before it starts uphill again, but yeah, basically uphill for about eight miles.  Fifty shades of Ironman Hawaii.  I thought I was having deja vu.   I actually half expected someone to have a “Welcome to Hawi” sign in their front yard…

And you are NOT going to “get it back” on the steep descent at the end.  Unless you have a death wish.  For one, the road twists and turns downhill as only a road in Holmes County can.  White knuckle time even in a car.  For two…well let’s just say I hope the county road department has been out fixing winter freeze damage before July 20th.  For three, it would be real nice if that twisty-twiney-straight down-potholed section of road was swept free of all the loose gravel before race day.

Hello? Anyone from the organizing committee in the room?

About half way through the roly-poly section of the route the friend with me muttered, “No way I would ever try to ride this.  My knees would blow UP!”  It didn’t help the sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach to hear the grown man beside me say that.

Unless zombies are chasing me, there is no way am I riding the blue monster over that hill.  Even though I know I will be longing for it’s fat, knobby tires on that downhill, I also know I’ll never pedal it’s fat, HEAVY steel frame up the front side, even if it does have 18 gears.  Having to walk, pushing my bike, isn’t an option.  Do you have to finish on the same bike you started on?  I could “stage” the blue monster at the top of the hill…ride the road bike from the swim to there and…no?

Decision time on a new bike is here.

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Specialized…Trek…Cannondale…road…mountain…hybrid?…

Gramma’s lookin’ at BLING!

Last week I took the blue monster into the bike shop for a go-over and spring tune-up.  Among other issues, the front tire wouldn’t hold air pressure long enough to get through a 13-mile bike ride.  Absolutely necessary if I’m going to do the Holmes County Triathlon in July.

Mistake.

Of course I’d already checked out the road bikes last August when The Blakester and I went shopping.  And pretty much gave up on the idea of a new road bike.    Pretty much.

But, since I was there, I couldn’t resist wandering over and checking them out.  Again.  And this time something registered that had apparently gone over my head then.

Hybrids.

A combination of the handling and speed of a road bike and the stability and more comfortable ride of a mountain bike.  Almost every major bike manufacturer makes one.

I’m intrigued.  This may be my ticket back into triathlon.  With the flat handlebars I’m able to sit upright.  Not aerodynamic mind you, but with my bad back (remember the fall down the stairs?) possibly my best chance to race again.

Trying to train over the winter drove home once and for all the fact that, in my mid-60’s, I’m going to have to make a few concessions to my age.

But I don’t have to give in completely.

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We are, all of us, brothers and sisters…

….and collectively we grieve today.

For our fellow runners and their families.

For the event that is the Boston Marathon.

For lives that have been changed unalterably.

For lives that have been lost.

We will eventually tie our shoes on, go out the door, and run off our shock and grief.

We will attend races…large and small.

And we will beat back the dragon named Terror.

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I’ve been in a coma, how have you been?

OK…maybe not the best excuse.  But the one I’m using none the less.

I really don’t want to tell you that I’ve been in a spider solitaire induced stupor for two weeks.

That is, in between trips to the Y to work out.

I’d love to tell you that we’ve had beautiful sunny, warm weather and grinding away on the dreadmill in the fitness room is a thing of the past.

Not.

It did warm up for a couple days.  Followed by three days of rain.

The weatherman actually used the “S” word in the forecast for this weekend.  Then went into hiding.  You can’t find a single person in NEOhio who will say with a straight face, “Boy, I wish it would stay cold and cloudy for a few more weeks.  Maybe a little snow one more time.”

The last of the ice did melt off the sidewalks finally, and I ventured out for a four miler after my swim and bike earlier this week.  I had done a pretty good bike workout-thirty minutes of hill intervals-and had to smile at that old familiar feeling of  “Omg, my knees are going to buckle out from under me!” that was always part of the bike-run transition.  Eventually I got it together, and was pleasantly surprised when my Garmin showed the same time for the 5k split as I ran with fresh legs last fall.

Progress.

When the flood waters recede between here and Holmes County (no joke, you can’t get there from here as of yesterday…well, without a detour or two), I’m planning to go take a survey of the bike course for that triathlon.  And get my mountain bike into the shop for new tires, since my front one won’t hold air pressure anymore.  Twenty-five years old, I guess they’ve pretty much served their useful life.  The tires that is.

I picked up a race schedule earlier this week and highlighted a couple 5k’s to do this summer.  I’m also going to try to get ready for that half-marathon in the fall that I backed out of last year.

So, between games of spider I’m penciling in some events to keep me motivated.  Now, if the weather will just improve.

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